A Real Parent — On Queer Parenthood
A timely book about the most timeless of experiences
Who or what is ‘family’? Who gets to be a parent? And what happens when a family deviates from the standard heterosexual norm? These questions are central to the essay collection 'A Real Parent: On Queer Parenthood' by Eke Krijnen.

In part, the essays in A Real Parent spring from personal experience – Krijnen and her wife have two children; the father is a good friend of the couple, and the children alternate between the two households. The book is dotted with scenes from their family life, such as an old acquaintance asking Krijnen in the playground which of her two children is ‘really’ hers (she and her wife birthed one child each).
In addition, Krijnen examines representations of (queer) parenthood in film, literature and the law, and draws on the work of theorists such as Sara Ahmed and Judith Butler to argue that while queer – or ‘rainbow’ – families are increasingly common, their acceptance in culture and the law is not. And so, as queer families, ‘We still have to fight for our place. Here we are, we exist, we are a family, we are real.’
A Real Parent is a gentle, often funny and nuanced work of literary non-fiction, as well as an urgent call to action. Krijnen builds a case for the importance of the legal recognition of families with more than two parents, and argues for ‘kinship’ as a key to a new and better way to understand family relationships. With queer families under attack in some countries, and the traditional nuclear family no longer appealing to a growing number of (would-be) parents in other countries, A Real Parent is an incredibly timely book.
Essays examining the nature, definition and experience of parenthood today
Reframes the concept of family from ‘nuclear’ to a more inclusive model
Combines personal experience with a close reading of film, literature and the law
Year of publication
2024
Page count
288
Publisher
Atlas Contact
Rights
Hayo Deinum
hayo@sharedstories.nl
Sample translation available
In her essay collection 'A Real Parent', Krijnen interrogates with a keen, witty pen the societal ideas that underlie intrusive questions asked without shame.
De Volkskrant
In a fiery plea for the recognition of her multi-parent family, she meticulously picks apart the myths and realities surrounding having and raising children.
NRC
More Non-Fiction

Echoes of History
A thought-provoking essay on who is allowed to speak and who is silenced

The Life of Mice
How living with rescue mice leads to a broader ethical enquiry into animal rights

Medusa in the Mirror: What Myths Tell Us About Who We Are
A scintillating exploration of mythological figures and their modern reinventions

Conscience: On Israel and Palestine
A Jewish writer breaks his personal boycott of Israel to document the reality of Palestine’s occupation
-rechtenvrij-kleiner.jpg&w=640&q=75)