At the office of the magazine for which Elibol works, he never mentions the differences between the world he has come from and the world in which he now lives and works – how he had to fight, both literally and figuratively, for his place and voice. But when he is asked to report on his childhood village, he has no choice but to write about the fight of his life.
After twenty-five years, Elibol makes a brief return to the village where he had spent the first sixteen years of his life – and where he never felt he belonged. He grew up poor, one of the few children with a migrant background. Addiction and violence were part of his youth. ‘As I drove over the bridge, my head instantly filled with painful memories and images, as if I’d stepped back in time. I wanted to leave immediately. It was a physical sensation, not wanting to be there.’
Despite climbing the social ladder and pursuing a successful career as an author and journalist, he feels out of place all over again. And there’s one more thing he kept secret: he was once an MMA fighter. How does he manage to reconcile those worlds? Elibol takes readers through each step of his journey.
A profound account of social mobility
A compelling memoir similar to Édouard Louis and Didier Eribon

Rasit Elibol (b. 1984) is an author and editor at the weekly magazine De Groene Amsterdammer. He has won various prizes for his work, including the European Press Prize (runner-up) and others.